Why are you wearin that stupid man suit?

So onward to Slovakia with a new pair of underwear.  The side trip was so worth it - what a charming town.  And to think that ten years ago even locals wouldn't be caught walking the main drag alone.  The whimsical statues around town - some inspired by actual town characters, some (like the man poking of the manhole) inspired by the creator's playful imagination - are my favorite part of walking around town.  Oh that and the chocolates I bought.  When I buy postcards some awful American women stand to the side complaining about how "Europeans never form proper lines."  they're all the same you know.   I hate their generalization and "holier than thou" attitude, but then wait forever in line while a couple people just walk in front of me to the cashier.  Was that a sign that I should be a jingoistic ultra-patriot with no ability to see beyond myself and my limited cultural experience?  Or a sign that life is random and coincidence-generating.

The 2€ Primate House admission is worth all 200 pennies (and European pennies at that!)  Even though there weren't even any primates inside.  I was expecting orangutans and chimpanzees and instead just saw lots of old inanimate objects.  But seriously, the museum was small but beautiful.  And not your typical, ridiculously overdone palace.  These are just rooms filled wipth nice things without the in-your-face, my-kingdom-is-bigger-than-yours ostentatiousness.  I mean, possibly because Slovakia doesn't fit that description.  Where Budapest went out nail guns blazing in a sea of construction during it's years as the center of one half of the Austro-Hungarian empire, Bratislava remained a little more true to it's size. I can almost imagine myself living in this palace without being blinded by all the gilded gold structure.  Part of it wouldn't even require getting used to, since the outside of the palace is the exact shade of pink that my childhood room was.  Inside are housed six tapestries that make up a complete story set.  My feminine side draws me to the spectacularly stitched ladies shoes in all their blue and pink glory, depending on the character and the tapestry.  From stripy and flashy, top simple and understated, both would make great additions to my growing collection.  Christmas anyone?  Other things stitched extremely well are the townscape backgrounds and a man just barely underwater, with the waves only partly betraying the outline of his bare backside.  They're beautiful works of art that managed to survive various parts of history when a wall was built around them.  So yes, the shoes and the beautiful royal blue woven wallpaper behind the tapestries.  Get me those and I'm happy.

 Next things get weird.  I get taken up by a UFO and fly far away into the sky, away from civilization, surrounded by aliens.  But these are aliens of the foreign variety, not extra-terrestrial, and the UFO is just a restaurant and panoramic viewing place above the bridge built by the soviets during their occupation.  It really does look like something out of Star Trek enterprise, so everyone calls it UFO,  the walk across the Danube is nice, as is the climb up.  And the stunning and surprising 360* view is worth every bit of fear I have to endure standing up so high on a structure that sways every time an elevator goes up and down.  The surrounding areas are prettier than the actual old town.  From the hilly suburbs to the opposite soviet apartment blocks reclaimed in a patchwork of vibrant colors, it's a sight to behold.  The park area right on the Danube looks so peaceful.  Not too far away turn multiple wind fans - on the other side of the Austrian border - hard to believe it's so close.  I guess Bratislava can't expand too far in that direction.

Hiking the castle grounds back on the other side of the river offers more great views and a closer look at some nature.  My camera batteries die so I miss a great piece of graffiti with the quote "WHY ARE YOU WEARIN' THAT STUPID MAN SUIT!" with the picture of a funky man below.  Dinner back in the old town is mediocre and interrupted by a glance up at the town clock, which for some reason thinks it's two time zones to the east.  My mind races as I try to figure out where the time went and how I'm going to pay my bill, walk to the bus station, take a bus and get my luggage from storage to make the night train in 30 minutes.  And then on the waitress' station computer I see the real time and I have those two hours back to dilly dally.  Note to self - bring a watch to Europe or a charger for your phone.  Since I've now checked out at that restaurant I head to another, using dessert as my way to kill time.  As I eat my less than mediocre Germknoedel, I watch a large, three generation family share dinner and laughs across from me.

I'm so happy to see my tiny little bed in the train.  I fall asleep almost instantly and don't wake again until the attendant comes by with a wake up call.  And hot tea.  And a chocolate croissant.  This is my kind of travel.